by: Dr. Rana Al-Sairafi
As revolutions and uprisings progress in numerous Arab countries, many find themselves occupied with closely following up on the current political events. As adults tune in to watch the news with all the emotions it communicates, they often overlook the effects such exposure has on their children who are constantly exposed to fear-provoking stories and details exchanged by adults around them.
Children are inclined to capture emotions alongside information, for instance; a child will pick up on the emotion experienced by a relative who is telling a story; whether it is fear, anxiety, happiness or any other. Children interpret feelings and store them; however; they do so from the viewpoint of a child which differs greatly from the viewpoint of an adult.
An adult is able to predict situations and their outcomes which give him a partial sense of control. This; on the other hand, does not apply on children. Photographs and clips of destruction and deaths are processed differently in the mind of a child. An adult is completely aware of the location where events are taking place and what options are available should he experience such an ordeal, a child however, is unaware of any of that and is left alone with many unattended to concerns; with the questions "Will I lose my parents?" and "Is what happened to the people on television going to happen to me?" being among the first questions that cross his mind.
Further, a child sees matters in relation to his size. A tank for instance looks much bigger than its actual size from the eyes of a child, as compared to him; it is enormous. Most can understand how children see matters by visiting places they were frequent at as children; most note that they used to see them much bigger.
On the other hand, some children do not express their concerns at the time of exposure. Some may respond after days, weeks or even months, such an occurrence is referred to as "Delayed Response". Such children may seem unaffected by what is going on around them; the effects might appear in time. Their anxiety and fear may manifest in various forms, some of which may be involuntary urine, fear of sleeping alone, nightmares and other.
Therefore, it is important for parents and caretakers to establish a close relationship with their children and make an effort to understand their concerns and anxieties in addition to helping them express their thoughts and feelings. It is recommended to create an environment where a child can openly articulate his feelings.
Parents and caretakers can provide help through the following ways:
• Self Restraint: An important point with visible effects on children. It may seem difficult to apply at first but it is very much achievable through sufficient practice. For instance; when faced with situations or circumstances that induce anger; it is essential that the caretaker practices self restraint and hold back strong reactions and use of foul language. Such an act communicates positive messages to children and they will too learn the skill of self restraint. However, Self restrain is particularly important because it positions the caretaker as a person in control. The contrary is also true, individuals who openly demonstrate alarming emotions before children send the message that the situation is out of control , bringing children to worry for their caretakers as well , which adds up to a complex situation.
• Family discussions with restrained reactions: Such discussions encourage children to share what is in their minds. Few open questions such as "How do you feel?" can be directed to all members of the family.
• Listening with full attention to children when expressing their fears and concerns in addition to demonstrating care and interest while conversing with them.
• Maintaining close ties between family members and giving sufficient attention to all.
• If caretakers were in no position to converse with children due to the intensity of events, it always helps to embrace and kiss children especially those under the age of eleven in order to connect and communicate affection to them which bear soothing effects.
• To the extent possible; restraining children's exposure to violent and bloody photographs and clips.
• Sharing personal experiences with children can be helpful; especially ones that are relevant to the current events and carry positive effects on children. An example could be, citing what was done to improve circumstances, or difficult experiences that had a positive effect on the family or other aspects that give hope to children.
• At times children may not wish to share, it is best not to apply pressure on them to do so. It is enough to let them know that there is someone who is willing to listen should they decide to talk about their thoughts and feelings.
Family and caretakers can play an important role in supporting children in times of pain and hardship which can mitigate the negative effects they might experience.
