This episode addresses the effects of bullying on the bully and discusses ways to help him stop bullying.
What are the effects of bullying on the bully?
The adverse effects of bullying on the bully are not less than those experienced by victims of bullies. The bully establishes a pattern through which he interacts with others, if such a flawed pattern is not modified or adjusted, the child may continue to apply it in his future relationships. The longer such pattern persists, the deeper it is entrenched within the child's personality. The following points demonstrate the adverse effects experienced by bullies:
- The bully may face difficulties in retaining friendships or establishing sound relationships that can help him in times of crisis. As bullies builds the majority of their relationships based on extortion, bullying or preserving of common interests; rendering them frail and too feeble to withstand the challenges brought about by life.
- Many bullies resort to drugs or intoxicants to deal with challenges they face. Further, they may engage in acts of sabotage as a result of being involved in destructive relationships.
- The academic level of the bully is negatively affected as his concentration levels decrease.
- On the long run bullying may introduce disorder in the bully's marriage and family life.
How to help a child stop bullying?
In order to help a bully discontinue his behavior, it is important to understand the roots of the matter and look deeply into the causes that directed him to such behavior. The nature of the child's upbringing at home, whether or not he feels weak and compromised and whether or not he is a victim of bullying himself are all matters to be thoroughly investigated. Further, caretakers should consider the possibility that the child is under misconceptions and that he is not aware that his behavior is wrong and inacceptable.
The matter of bullying is not to be taken lightly; it requires an immediate intervention to stop it. After identifying the reasons the bully must understand the seriousness of the matter and that such behavior would not be tolerated. Then, decisive steps need to be taken to stop bullying against others, without resorting to violence, as violence only invites more violence.
There are several ways to help a child stop bullying:
• It is important to make the child aware of the impacts bullying have on other children and on himself personally on both the short and long term.
• Resolute measures should be taken towards the bully and an agreement should be reached with him to stop all forms of bullying. In addition to that, caretakers should continuously monitor the implementation of such an agreement and assess the child's commitment to it.
• It is important to be faire when judging bullies in any one dispute, so they are not charged without base as this will motivate them to be more violent towards others. Parents should listen to both parties in an attempt to understand the circumstances and avoid premature judgments.
• Help the child connect with his feelings towards other children in general, and especially his peers. The bully often loses sight of how the victim feels. A method that can be used to help the bully understand other people's feelings is to imagine going through difficult situations and think how one would feel if he had to experience them. It is advised to choose a position that is far from anything he had ever done to another child, in order not let him live a conflict between defending himself and his attempt to connect to the feelings of others.
• Strengthen and reinforce human values within the child, such as respecting diversity in people, generosity, paying attention to other people's feelings, unselfishness, love and other values that can help him build a strong and sound foundation for his future relations and interactions with others. Further, such values can be basics adopted by all members of the family, which may strengthen the child's commitment to them.
When we help a child discontinue such a behavior, we are not protecting one child only, but we are contributing to the protection of all children around him and preventing them from falling victims to bullying. Paying attention to that matter since the child's early years helps him overcome many problems that may be challenging to overcome as an adult; this also contributes to rendering him more sympathetic and compassionate.
The next episode will address bullying through modern technology.
